Short jokes
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.