Short jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
Have you ever seen the clown in Walmart that hides from gay people?
No..... Really?
Hahaha
Grasshole.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
John took a bath with bubbles.
Bubbles was a man.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
You're a bish, and you are too!
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
My mental health.
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
No, you!
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!