Short jokes
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
My acquaintance, William.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my was kicked, let's be friends?
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”