Short jokes
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
Yourself.
Them: "You're ugly."
Me: "No, as ugly as your extra chromosome."
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
Justin Bieber
Nickelback.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!