Short jokes

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?

Because the sign says "No Tres passing."

English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."

I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.

It's a complex complex complex.

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.

What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

The three unwritten rules of life:

1. 2. 3.

4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.

What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.