Short jokes
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
You're so poor you stink like poo-poo in your doo-doo.
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
Your mother.
Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
What do you call my IP? 74.125.224.72 hahahahahahahahaha