Short jokes
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Asshole.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
Alec is bad at League?
Jokes, Jarid is, haha!
Gay guy?
Poo poo packed, lol.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Abortion is not a joke.
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
Why does the Sun go to school?