Short jokes
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
"Wheel" all miss him, right?
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Atom
Electron
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching