Short jokes
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
What did one hurricane say to the other?
"I got my EYE on you!"
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.