Short jokes
I like my cigars like I like my women:
Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
kys
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?
Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Asshole.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...
It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
Alec is bad at League?
Jokes, Jarid is, haha!
Gay guy?
Poo poo packed, lol.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.