Short jokes
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
Anal.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.