Short jokes
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
Yahahlmsyw.
That stand for:
You are has a whole, let me show you why.
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.