Short jokes
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
Wow, that is so sunny!
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!
Hehehehehe.
What the hehehehehehe?
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Two times four is eight, now stop f***ing asking me!
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...