Short jokes
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
Tyson?
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
Hmmm.
Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).
What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
What is the reason for the first time since I've seen a lot to be desired in the morning? To you, eat ass...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
Beans
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.