Short jokes
Keep calm and curry on!
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
Canada has free health care, here is a link to some Canada Facts! https://www.1stcontact.com/blog/20-interesting-facts-about-canada
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
"Are you related to Yoda?"
"Because yo-delicious!"
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Do you want a book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down!
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."