Short jokes
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
He he he.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?