Short jokes
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Why couldn't the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act?
Because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
Kasper has a tiny penis.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Hello.
Josh
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.