Short jokes
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
Hitler was a dic-tator.
What's that stupid girl in your class called?
Thot.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Hi Andrew, this is Nick.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.