Short jokes
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
What does a French woman say when you ask her what her favorite video game is? "Oui, oui!"
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
After all the mudslides in the area, the streets became a mudder out there.
Does anyone know Wakanda movie is Black Panther?
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
Ehhhhhhhh.