Short jokes
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
BRUHS0UNDEFFECT!
Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
'Cause she will let it go.
Which mineral is so impolite?
IRONic.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.