Short jokes

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?

Nothing, he had no friends.

What did the chicken say to the turkey?

Nothing, he chickened out!

Why do we name hurricanes?

To keep an eye on them.

Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?

Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.

Butthole.

Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."

Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!

I want to die.

Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.

I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

What did Mother Mary say when God farted? Jesus Christ, you stink!

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

Did you hear the rumors about butter?

Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.

RAID HIM https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZEAEVyTsAdnjawrdCkDu-A/videos

Bust it open for Jesus!