Short jokes
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
Isaac
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
The wheels on the wheelchair go round and round.
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?
- He is very cold-blooded.
- Why?
- He is Ice Cube.