Isaac jokes

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.

Isaac

How does an apple fall from a tree?

I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”

Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”

Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”

Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”

I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.

God: “Steven, join us.”

*sees the staircase to heaven*

Steven: “Shit.”