Short jokes
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Weenis long.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!