Short jokes
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
Taja?
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Hitler.
What is blue and wiggling on my floor?
A baby in a bag.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
What language do people at the center of the Earth speak?
Core-an (Korean)
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
McDonald's :)
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
Friend: Eric, spell mouse.
Eric: M O U S.
Friend: Yes - But what's on the end of it?
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.