Short jokes
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
Die.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?
Me.
My parents love me.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Why is the tire so tired?
Because it is tired out.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."