Short jokes
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.