Short jokes
Christianity.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.
Donald Trump is still the president, even after the government has been shut down.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.