Short jokes
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
6jhyrgeda.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.