Short jokes
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
Stormtroopers, I guess they never miss, huh?
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
I make science puns, but only periodically.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
Arsenal
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."