Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Short Jokes
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
Ehhhhhhhh.
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Why did the man yell at the other? To tell a pun.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
