Short jokes
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.