Short jokes
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Your AMAMA.
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!
I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.
What should more fun than slapping a baby?
Deez nutz.
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.