Short jokes
Please help me... I’m being held captive by Carl Wheezer.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
The joke is me.
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.