Short jokes

When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.

I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.

That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?

Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak!

Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Answer: Because they taste funny!

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.

Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.

I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.

The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.

I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

"Dumbest7" is my Xbox account. Hit me up.

Q: What do you call a sad soda?

A: Soda-pressing.