Short jokes
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
Mÿ pp.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
What do you call a PEIS?
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
Oh, hail no!!!
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.