Short jokes
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Haha, yeet my fuckin' meat!
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
Chihuahua?
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
I saw a bear eating a duck.
It was unBEARable.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.