Short jokes
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
A seal walks into a club.
How are guys and tile floors alike?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
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I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.