Short jokes
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture.
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.