Short jokes
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
My pen is so strong, ladies, come and get it!
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
You can say what you want about deaf people...
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
I am looking for Mike Roch.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Maybe I’ll be Tracer.
I’m already Tracer!
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.