Short jokes
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
He is dead.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What skeleton does Crap-ton of?
A "bone".
My puns are awesome, pure gold.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Alia’s YouTube channel.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Never trust a donkey; they are always full of shit.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.