Short jokes
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
Saturn was so loved, someone put a ring on him.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
I'm dead inside.
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.