Short jokes

I tell short people to reach for the stars.

They are always a bit short of reach.

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?

I don't get mitosis.

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

We don't know yet.

OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.

All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.

All of the jokes are just abuse.

Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?

Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.

Boy: Okay, Dad.

Dad: No problem, Brick.

My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

102, if you have some alive ones.

What cereal do I eat?

Captain Bolts.

I just had sex.

Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.

How do make an adult cry?

Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.

What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?

One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.