Short jokes
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
...
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
Tyler
God.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.