Short jokes
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What do you call a bad pun?
The pun is not punny!
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
Healthcare these days is a bit of an Obamanation.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!