Short jokes
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Despacito.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Me: I kiss my mom on the lips.
Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor-
Me: Lower lips.
Friend: I gotta go.
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.