Short jokes
My cock, lmao.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Everyone reading this is gay!
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
See, I was always told puns are funny.
But I can see now they aren't punny.
Swallow cum, not gum.