I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
Short Jokes
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
6jhyrgeda.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
