How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
Short Jokes
What did the cat say when she stubbed her toe?
"(Me)owwww!"
What did A say to Y?
"You cannot be alpha like me." :)
Y said, "Why? (Y)"
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
The earth is not round.
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What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
