Short jokes
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”
Meow meow meow meow :p
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?