Short jokes
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
How are you?
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
His wife shut off the internet.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
Hungry: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.
Hungry: Why did you name me like this? :/
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
Yaxaas?
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!