Short jokes
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
hihihihihhihhihihihihiihihihihihihhihihihihhihihiihihihi.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D