Short jokes
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
Bird Box.
Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.
Stan Lee walked into a school one day.
Just kidding, he's fuckin dead :(
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls.
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
arya fae
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.