Short jokes
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)
-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!
-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
My wife was run over.
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
Dumb.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.