Short jokes
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
Why are french fries rude?
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
Mushroom?
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA