Short jokes
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Drawned.
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
Why are you sad?
I’m depressed. I know black people could cry.
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
I'm hungry.
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!
I'd be a liar.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"