Short jokes
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
"Knock knock."
"Come in."
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
I just shed my pants.