Short jokes
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Taig
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
Female Rights?
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.