Short jokes
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
What do you call frozen web?
A web-cicle.
Ass.
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
What do you call a bar run by Gungans?
Jar Jar Drinks.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
"and i oop"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.