Short jokes
Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
Gan cube prices?
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"