Short jokes
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
Wanted to get the scoop on history of ice cream, so I went to Sunday school.
Egg?
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
El, can you grab me that bow?
Yesterday, a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!