Short jokes
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Taig
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
Female Rights?
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.