Short jokes
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
Please dislike.
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
F*ck you.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head.
Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said, "I'm gay!"
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
I am a sheep.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.